I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
