Kiss
Puke
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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