I CAN MOONWALK!
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Randomize
