dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
The power of my boobs compel you
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
