Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
