Do you still have your period?
and she was petting her beer can
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
