So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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