they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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