I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
