I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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