I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
