and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
