Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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