she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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