Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
it's great music for shaving your balls
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
