So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
