Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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