real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
and she was petting her beer can
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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