so that wasnt chicken after all
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
