I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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