forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
