she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
so that wasnt chicken after all
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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