I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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