sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
