Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I am available for nakedness
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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