If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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