just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
