She said her name was "party"
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
