mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
