fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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