Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
