Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
