He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
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