I've blown a few things in my day
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
