Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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