"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
