tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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