The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
