Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
