She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
he told me I talked like a deaf person
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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