and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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