I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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