Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
