i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
