the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
