If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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