I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
