My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
