piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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