I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
